The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida

3 Bullet Book: 2020, book #57: “Your word is a demonstration of your purpose and your masculine core.” — David Deida

Finished on July 25, 2020

I had seen this book recommended a handful of times by some of the people that I follow on Twitter. I thought the subject matter would be particularly interesting and I certainly enjoyed the book. As I’m reading more and more nowadays, I focus on highlighting or noting only those things that are going to have lasting impact. This book had a great number of those takeaways. It’s always great to spend time going back and reviewing the items that stood out to me when I went through a book. I think that it will be interesting to spend some time thinking about the ways I can integrate these takeaways throughout my next relationship and even more so as I progress towards potential marriage. I find it valuable to learn from perspectives that I am not always exposed to on a typical day to day and this book reinforced many things that I had thought but maybe not studied at a deep level yet.

The 3 Bullets

1. There was a big point early on in the book that I knew but I didn’t truly know at the same time. David writes, “Your woman is going to test you and wants to feel that you are un-collapsible. Women enjoy testing their partner and want to know their partner is who they are regardless of the situation or whom they are with. She needs to know your happiness is not dependent on her nor your circumstances.” Rock solid. Unshakeable. Firm. Reliable. Consistent. That’s what a man is, and that’s especially what a man is within a relationship. Mature women recognize that they are so tapped into their emotions that, as the author says, “a woman’s word is her true expression in the moment.” They need to know that the man they are with is going to love and accept them and support them no matter what you are experiencing and no matter what they are experiencing.

2. The author focused around the goals within a relationship. He wrote, “Growth and intimacy: The direction and growth of a relationship are primarily the man’s responsibility. The energy and the intimacy — pleasure, sexual flow, and vitality — are primarily the woman’s responsibility…