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I Heard You, But, What Do You Mean?
Michael P. Nichols includes the following example in his book, The Lost Art of Listening:
When his son told him he was dropping out of college, he did his best to hide his disappointment, still, he was upset and he needed someone to talk to. So, he called his brother, hoping he would understand. It wasn’t easy for him to talk about his feelings so he started off with small talk. After a few minutes, he told his brother that his son had dropped out of school and that he was very discouraged about it.
There was a pause.
His brother then went on to talk about something else. He was stunned… how could his brother be so unsympathetic? With a lot of effort, he confronted his brother and said, “Didn’t you hear what I said?”
His brother replied that he had never thought of his brother as someone who needed emotional support.
“Sometimes all a person wants is an empathetic ear; all he or she needs is to talk it out. Just offering a listening ear and an understanding heart for his or her suffering can be a big comfort.” ― Roy T. Bennett
